


Sevasey Drabbles

by FrankieFandom



Category: Chicago Fire
Genre: Alternate Universe, Angst, Canonical Character Death, Career Ending Injuries, Drabble Collection, Emotional Hurt, Episode Tag, F/M, Friends to Lovers, Gen, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Implied/Referenced Domestic Violence, Implied/Referenced Homophobia, M/M, Sexual Content, hurt!Casey, sick!Casey
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-09-06
Updated: 2018-11-19
Packaged: 2018-12-24 15:26:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 35
Words: 20,118
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12015639
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FrankieFandom/pseuds/FrankieFandom
Summary: A mixture of drabbles and short one-shots!





	1. Roommates

"Sorry I rushed out this morning, wanted to go for a run," Casey said as he heard Severide enter his quarters after roll call.

"We're roommates not lovers, you don't need to tell me what you're up to," he teased.

"I've never had a roommate before," Casey commented as he turned in his chair. "What the hell... what happened to your eye?" He'd not noticed the bruise from across the room earlier.

Severide was shaking his head. "Nothing."

"You have a black eye. Something must have happened."

Severide sighed. "You were talking in your sleep last night, having a nightmare... I... I tried to wake you..."

Casey interrupted him. "How did you get a black eye?" he questioned, dreading the answer.

"I tried to wake you and you struggled."

"I hit you."

"My own fault." Severide forced a smile, trying not to show the worry he had felt last night when he'd been unable to wake Casey from his demons.

"I'm sorry."

"Don't apologise, you were... you were pretty out of it."

"I don't remember."

"That's probably a good thing."

"I am sorry Kelly. And I'd understand if you didn't want to live with..."

"Matt stop, you're doing me a favour remember."

"I hit you."

"Yeah you did, but fortunately for me you're not quite as strong in your sleep."

"It won't happen again."

"Well, in future when I try to help you I'll keep at an arms length." Severide smiled.

"You don't have to help me. I don't need it."

"I think you do."


	2. No Sex

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Prompt from Stingray! “So they drugged me, I can’t drive. Can you come get me? Thanks… see ya later superstar…”

Severide sat himself down on the couch, it was mid-afternoon and he was about to crack open a beer when his phone rang, he was going to ignore it until he saw the caller ID – Matt.

"Hey," Severide greeted him, smiling.

_"So they drugged me, I can't drive. Can you come get me? Thanks… see ya later superstar…"_

"Woah... wait, Matt," Severide said before Casey could hang up the phone. "Where are you? Who drugged you?"

 _"Some guy…"_ Casey slurred down the line.

"Where are you?" He was standing up now and had already grabbed his car keys.

_"Oh erm yeah…. the dentists office."_

"I'll be right there, ok? Don't go anywhere, ok?"

 _"Uh huh, see ya later alligator…"_ Casey giggled.

It didn't take too long for Severide to pick Casey up from the dentist, it was fortunate Severide knew they both went to the same one. Casey had been sitting up straight in the waiting room when Severide entered, his eyes showed his immediate relief when he'd appeared and he'd led Casey to the car.

"What'd they do to you?" Severide asked as he drove Casey home.

"Wisdom tooth," Casey supplied.

"Didn't realise it had been bothering you?"

Casey nodded, he was gazing out of the window. "Not been able to eat."

"You've not been able to eat?"

"Or sleep."

"How long?"

Casey slowly looked over to Severide, who whilst concentrating on the road was still casting concerned glances over to the passenger seat. "Erm today's…"

"Today's the 11th," Severide told him.

"Erm… ten days maybe…"

"You've been struggling for ten days?"

"I was fine."

"You just said you weren't eating or sleeping."

"Yeah, but I was fine."

"You really need to work on your definition of fine."

"You're fine."

"What?"

"You're fine… thanks so much for picking me up… you're the best, just thank you so much…" he started weeping almost hysterically for a few moments. "Also… you're hot."

"You're high."

"You don't think I'm hot too?"

"Erm… I think…" Severide spoke carefully, "I think you're not going to remember this conversation." He was right, Casey was asleep, his head against the window, before Severide had finished speaking.

"Why am I in your car?" Casey frowned as he woke up. Severide had just pulled up outside of his house and woken him.

"You can't drive."

"I can," he pouted.

"You can, but you can't at the moment," Severide explained. "C'mon, let's get you inside."

Severide watched as Casey fumbled with his keys, they fell to the floor and he picked them up and opened the front door for him.

"Are you going to be ok?" he asked, stood out on Casey's porch. "Do you want me to come in?"

"I'm not having sex with you Kelly…" Casey slurred, leaning on his doorframe.

"I really think I should stay with you for a bit."

"Coffee. No sex."

Severide stepped through the threshold and followed Casey into the living area where he promptly collapsed down onto the couch and fell asleep.


	3. Andy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> 1.01 Pilot

Shay and Dawson were standing by the back of the ambulance as the truck and engine crews got to work.

Shay was looking up at the top of the ladder when the huge fireball burst out and narrowly missed Casey.

"Oh God…" she muttered, her heart sank realising that she'd only just seen Darden step through the window.

She could hear Boden calling into the radio. "Severide, do you copy?"

"Oh God…" she muttered again, her hand gripped the side of the gurney, her knuckles whitened as she waited for Severide's response.

She and Dawson relaxed a little when they heard Severide's voice through the radio. _"We're good Chief, we'll get a…"_

"Kelly…" Boden stopped Severide, his voice was grave.

Shay didn't hear the rest of the conversation that took place, she looked back up to the ladder and realised that Casey still hadn't moved from his now precarious position, still staring into the room Darden had stepped into. She looked to her right, Herrmann was calling up to him, Casey just shook his head numbly. She couldn't hear his voice replying to Herrmann, telling his right hand man that Andy was dead.

The flames were still burning when Severide, Capp and Tony carried Andy's charred and burnt body out of the building, he was unrecognisable. Severide was grimacing. Casey was still at the top of the ladder, he couldn't get his legs to move, he couldn't pull his eyes away from the spot where Darden had been engulfed in flames, the image was replaying in his mind.

"Lieutenant?" she could hear Herrmann still calling up to him as he walked over to the foot of the ladder but Casey wasn't moving.

"Kelly," Shay spoke softly as Andy's body was laid down on the gurney and covered. "I'm sorry…"

"Heather and the boys…" Severide muttered, his eyes fixed on the sheet covering his best friend.

Shay put a gentle hand on his arm. "Matt's not moved," she told him, knowing Severide would be able to get through to Casey. But Severide said nothing, he didn't even look over towards the ladder, he gave one last look at the gurney and walked away.

Time stood still at the top of the ladder. Casey was still staring at the spot where Andy had been. He'd been there one moment and gone the next. Boden's commanding voice penetrated his thoughts. He took a breath and looked around as if he hadn't quite realised he was still at the top of the ladder. Slowly he began to move down as instructed. His feet hit the ground and as they did reality came crashing to him. Andy was dead. He stood unmoving as Shay came over to him.

"Matt, are you ok?" Shay questioned as she looked over his uniform for any burnt patches from the fireball. "You didn't get…"

Casey brushed passed her. "Kelly…" he started, his eyes showed his distress as he walked up to him, he wasn't sure what he was going to say because there wasn't anything he could say, but he just needed Severide right now, and Severide would need him.

But Severide saw red.

The force of Severide's single punch sent Casey flying to the floor, it had been unexpected, the rest of their crews stood in shock for a moment, they'd all been expecting them to comfort each other but now Boden was holding Severide back from getting to Casey again, who was still lying in a state of shock on the floor.

Casey shrugged off Herrmanns help and got himself up from the ground. The engine crew had finished putting out the flames now and Severide was walking away back to the other side of the squad rig away from everyone.

"Matt, let me…" it was Dawson, she'd moved in and was trying to inspect the readily growing bruise just below his left eye.

"I'm fine," he said harshly as he pushed his way through his crew and stood at the back of his truck, out of sight, he sank down and let his head fall into his hands. Andy was dead. And it was all his fault. He should have made sure Severide had vented the back. He should have held Andy back. He shouldn't have become so lax with his crew that Andy felt he didn't need to listen to him. He should have kept his friendship out of the equation. Andy was dead. And it was all his fault.


	4. Not Coping

_"Hey…"_ Severide's gravelly voice picked up the phone. Casey had been sitting on his couch for the last forty-five minutes contemplating about making the call or not. _"Case, it's 3am?"_ Severide half-questioned.

"Yeah, I know, I'm sorry, I shouldn't have called…"

 _"No, don't hang up,"_ Severide spoke quickly, _"What's wrong?"_

"Nothing." He shook his head as he spoke through the phone.

_"Where are you? Are you at home?"_

"Yeah, I'm at home," he replied.

_"You gonna tell me what's wrong or is it gonna be like pulling teeth?"_

"I just… I just wanted to hear your voice," he said.

 _"Talk to me, Matt,"_ Severide urged.

"I… I miss her," his voice cracked as he admitted it.

 _"I know,"_ Severide sympathised, _"And there's nothing I can say to make it any better."_

"I shouldn't have called…"

 _"I told you to call me if you needed me, if you needed anything, remember?"_ Severide spoke softly. _"Now, have you eaten today?"_

Casey's silence was all Severide needed.

_"You know how you've taken all this furlough to get stuff straightened out? Well, that means you need to get stuff straightened out, if that means you need to come and spend some time at my place then we'll do that, because you need to eat and sleep, you can't just sit and drink or…"_

"I've not had anything," he replied before Severide could finish.

 _"Good 'cause sitting in your house with no lights and drinking on your own is not coping,"_ Severide said with an air of authority that he hadn't meant to come across.

"I don't need you to tell me that I'm not coping, I didn't call you so you could tell me how I've let everything fall apart…"

_"Matt, this isn't your fault, you just… you're just hardwired to hide everything until it gets out of hand, you don't have the best coping methods, but neither do I, but you're gonna be ok and you'll be back at work soon."_

"I need to be back at work now."

 _"No, that's where you're wrong, you were being reckless, and you said it yourself you weren't sleeping, you were a danger to your own men, you told me so I could help you, you gotta listen to me,"_ Severide spoke.

"I can't see past all this," he admitted after a thoughtful moment.

 _"Come to the front door,"_ Severide told him.

"What?" he frowned but there was only silence at the other end of the phone. He put his cell down and slowly got up and went to the front door.

"There's nothing I can say to make it better but I can be here for you," Severide said once the door opened.

"You didn't need…"

"Yes I did," Severide nodded, "Let's get something to eat and then you need to get some sleep."


	5. Trimmers

Severide had been lying on his side watching Casey for some time before he stirred from his sleep. "Morning baby." He smiled as Casey's eyes opened.

"Hey..." Casey croaked out.

Severide sat against the headboard. "Feel sick?"

"I'm all right." Casey smiled wearily up at him.

"I'll go do some breakfast then."

"No, stay here."

"You need to eat when you can, remember?" Severide said softly as he pushed away the bed covers.

"Yeah..."

Severide smiled and left Casey to get up. He slowly sat up on the side of the bed. He glanced disdainfully at the plastic bowl on the nightstand, although thankfully he hadn't needed it since yesterday afternoon. It was then from the corner of his eye he saw a large clump of blond hair on his pillow. He ran a hand through his hand and looked down, more blond strands had fallen out so easily. He knew it would happen eventually but it still bothered him because soon he would look as weak as he felt.

Severide returned with a smile on his face. "Breakfast is almost ready, do you want... oh..."

"Think it's time to shave it all off?" Casey smiled thinly, still looking down at the blond hair in his grasp.

"I'll get the trimmers out after you've eaten, hey, maybe I'll even do mine too," Severide said thoughtfully as he went to the dresser to get Casey some fresh clothes to change into.

"You would?"

"Yeah," he smiled, "I think I will."


	6. Of Fathers and Boyfriends

Kelly was at home setting the table ready for dinner, it was nothing fancy but Matt had been out working all day so he'd made one of his favourite dishes. He'd just put the cutlery down on the table when his phone buzzed into life. He smiled down at the caller ID and answered it immediately.

"Hey baby," he greeted Matt.

_ "I'm just leaving the store, be back in about fifteen minutes," _ Matt's voice replied.

"Good, I've missed you, you've been spending way too much at Nick Johnsons house," he teased.

_ "Well, I have the last of the supplies I need now, and you should know by now that you're the only guy for me." _

"I better be," he grinned, "I'll see you soon."

_ "Yeah, love ya." _

Kelly was still smiling when he put his phone down on the counter. He checked the timer on the oven and turned the heat down at little so the meal would be ready to serve once Matt was home. He contemplated digging out a candle and using it as a centrepiece but he decided against it, he grabbed a beer out of the fridge and sat down on the couch.

Fifteen minutes passed by and Matt still hadn't walked through their front door. He tried to stop glancing at his watched but his imagination was doing him no favours. He kept picturing Matts truck upside down in a ditch despite the fact he knew full well there were no ditches between here and the supply store, he'd most likely just hit a bit of traffic, or saving some damsel in distress. He chuckled at that and relaxed back into the couch once again.

Another fifteen minutes passed by and there was still no sign of Matt. Kelly got up from the couch, grabbed his phone from the kitchen counter and was just about to call him when the front door opened, he almost laughed at the worry he'd felt as he turned around to greet Matt. "Hey you, I… Matt?"

Matt staggered into the house. "Kel…"

Kelly rushed over, the sound of Matt's voice cracking sent shivers down his spine, he caught Matt as his knees gave way. "Baby… baby…" Kelly brushed a hand through his bloodied blond hair. "Baby, what happened? Are you ok? You're not ok… let me see…"

"I am ok," the words that left Matt's lips, his cut lips, were forced.

"Let's get you over to the couch, all right? Can you manage that… I'll carry you…"

"Don't touch me…"

Kelly moved back at those words. "Baby?"

"I'm ok, I'm fine…" he muttered.

"Let me help you to the couch," Kelly insisted with a nod.

Once Matt was sitting gingerly on the couch, he had an arm wrapped around his abdomen and a pained expression on his bruised and bloody face, Kelly dashed to the kitchen to get some water and a cloth along with the first aid kit. He sat on the floor in front of Matts knees, he gently touched his face but he moved away.

"Baby, let me clean this blood away, let me see how bad it is…"

"I'm fine."

"I need to take your top off."

"Please don't."

"Baby."

"Kelly, you can't."

"I can't what baby?"

"You can't see… please…"

"I don't care what happened, I just need to make sure you're ok, you're hurting so much, let me help you."

"I'm sorry… I'm sorry…"

"I don't believe you would ever do anything wrong, you've got nothing to say sorry for…"

"No… no… no… it was me, it was me, I didn't mean… I'm sorry, I should've… I'm sorry, I didn't… I wasn't…"

"Shh… shh baby, it's ok, it's ok, shh…" Kelly soothed, his hands on Matt's knees.

Calmer now Matt spoke again, "I didn't do anything."

"You didn't fight back? That's fine. There's nothing wrong with that. Just… just tell me who hit you?"

"I don't know. I don't remember."

"Ok, that's ok. Can I take your top off? I'll try to make it painless… unless, will you let me cut it off? I need to see your chest, baby."

"It hurts…"

"Your chest?"

"My stomach. My back. My neck… Kelly, I'm sorry… I'm sorry…"

"Shh… shh baby…" Kelly soothed as he started to cut away at Matt's top. "You were at the store baby, what happened?"

"It was…" Matt frowned a little in thought, "It was him."

"Him?"

"It wasn't," he shook his head but stopped abruptly when the world started to spin, "But it was… it was that word… it was his word… I was… it was like I was… I was back there…"

"Oh God…" Kelly muttered in realisation as Matt's top fell away. He stared at the discoloured flesh until Matt's sob brought him back to the present. "You're ok now, he can't hurt you, it's been sixteen years, baby, he's gone, he's gone, it wasn't him, I promise you that it wasn't him and that you're safe now."

"I know, I know, I know really, I do…" Matt tried to take some breaths, tried to get in control of his messed up emotions.

"I'm gonna get you some ice, I'll be right back." With a bag of frozen peas wrapped in a thin towel in his hand, Kelly returned to Matt, "Here."

Matt carefully placed the bag of frozen peas against the worst of the injuries done to his front. "I don't know why and I… I didn't do anything… I just… I just lay there… I was back in my bedroom, I couldn't move, I tried to…"

"Shh it's ok, it's ok. You're so brave, baby, so strong, you came home."

"I don't remember."

"No, but you did it, you survived, just like you did back then."

"He's dead and he still gets to me. He's the only reason I couldn't move, I couldn't fight back…"

Kelly gently caressed Matt's bruised face. "Look at me. You survived."

"I survived."

"Ok, I'm gonna have a look at your back, all right?"

Kelly inspected his injuries, the various shades of bruises, kick marks, punches, it was obvious that whoever had attacked his boy had continued to do so long after he was down. Down and trying to save himself from the brunt of the attackers force by putting himself in a foetal position. It hadn't saved his back though. Kelly doubted he'd be able to cope when he was next on shift, and he knew he wouldn't be able to do any construction work tomorrow.

Before long Kelly was fairly satisfied that Matt had suffered no serious injuries and he half carried him to bed after he'd washed the blood and grime from his battered body. The meal was completely forgotten about. He gently placed the bed covers over Matt's sore body and kissed him goodnight and warned him that he'd be waking him up every few hours in case his concussion worsened.

Matt slept in Kelly's arms. He felt safe in those arms. When he woke in the midst of a nightmare, his mind had replaced the image of his attacker with that of his father, he immediately buried himself in Kelly's chest. He didn't care if that was a sign of weakness, if it was Kelly never said so, in fact Matt was sure Kelly would tell him it wasn't at all, Kelly never said he was weak, he always said he was strong, strong to have been through so much and survived, strong to be so brave in the face of everything because he only ever let his guard down in front of Kelly because Kelly was safe.

"I love you Kelly."

"I love you too, baby, close your eyes, I'll be waking you up again soon."

"My head's fine."

"I know. I just like seeing those eyes of yours."


	7. PJs and Cuddles

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> For my darling Stingray.

As soon as the front door opened Severide stood up and went to greet Casey. "Oh baby, look at you…" he started as he approached him with his arms out. "You look exhausted." He wrapped his arms around Casey's weary frame.

Casey sank into Severide's embrace. "Feel like I've not slept for days."

Severide pulled back and examined the dark shadows around his eyes, traced his cheekbone with his thumb. "You're still beautiful though. And it's all over now."

"Yeah," he smiled, still leaning into Severide's embrace, "It's all over."

"C'mon let's get you into bed, wrap you up in those fluffy blankets you love so much."

"I erm…" Casey trailed off, his eyes were struggling to stay open, "I don't think I can make it."

"You're just saying that so I carry you," he teased.

"Maybe." Casey grinned tiredly. Happy to be at home, happy to let his guard down. He let Severide help him over to the bed. He lay down and smiled as Severide slipped off his shoes and pulled off his socks.

"Cosy PJs?" Severide asked as he unbuckled Casey's belt.

"Yes," he smiled up at him.

"Cosy PJs and cuddles," Severide half laughed, "You're so easy to please."

"Cuddles are the best," he muttered as he felt his pants being tugged away. "Especially yours."

"Ah good 'cause I don't want you walking up to random people begging for hugs when you're feeling neglected."

Soon they were lying under the covers, Casey was wrapped up in his pyjamas, Severide just wore some lounge pants, his arms wrapped around Casey who relaxed into his grip. He loved to be held. He loved to be held by Severide. He loved just lying with him, being with him. Severide always teased him, joked that it was because Casey had never had enough hugs has a child, that he'd had to grow up too fast. He joked about it because it was true, but the teasing meant that when it was mentioned Casey didn't retreat into his shell. Severide knew what Casey was comfortable with and what he wasn't, it had taken some time for him to become truly relaxed in just his company, relaxed in a way he never was with anyone else, and probably would never be with anyone else.

"I love you," he muttered into Casey's blond hair as he slept soundly in his arms.


	8. Strong

Severide watched as Hallie left the hospital room, his eyes landed back on Casey's bed when the door closed. "She hates me," he announced with a sigh, "She has every right to… so do you."

"I don't hate you," Casey replied tiredly, "Hals doesn't either."

"You should."

"Can we not talk about it." Casey cast his gaze to the window. "Please."

"I should have been the one who…"

"Kelly stop." He faced him, "I pushed you out the way. My choice. I'd do it again."

"How can you say that?" Severide questioned, distressed now.

"Please stop trying to blame yourself. Just stop it. It wasn't your fault. It wasn't my fault. It just happened. It just happened, ok?" his words were slow, he sounded almost breathless. "If it had been the other way around, if you were lying in this hospital bed right now would you be blaming me?"

"No, of course not, I…"

"Look, I really don't want to talk about it, I still have limited coherent hours as it is, don't want to spend my time with you like this," he explained quietly.

"I just…" Severide's voice cracked, "I don't know what to do."

"Do anything but blame yourself, all right?" he smiled. "If you want to do something productive you can go and install a ramp at my place 'cause I really don't intend on being stuck in this room forever…" His face fell at the idea.

"Physio will help, you're the strongest person I know, you'll walk again," Severide spoke softly now.

"Complete T4 spinal cord injury," he reminded Severide with a wry smile, "I think my walking life is over."

"But you had surgery?" Severide frowned, trying to remember what Hallie had said it was for but he'd barely taken in anything she'd said, too worried about the outcome, too worried about Casey to focus on her words.

"To remove the fractured vertebrae and fuse my spine," he said quietly, he tired easily, he was in no pain at least, but as he explained he couldn't help but be overwhelmed by a rush of emotions. He'd been trying to be strong for Hallie, for everyone, but now over a week since the accident, a week since the surgery, he felt like he was barely holding it together. He could feel the tears brimming. "Do you mind? Can I have some privacy?"

"Matt, I'm here for you, if you want to talk, want me to do absolutely anything for you, or Hallie, or just anything, you gotta let me know, ok? And that offer's not out of guilt or anything I just… I just… you're my best friend Matt, I want to help."

Casey looked away for a moment before he spoke up, "You can pass me a tissue." He turned back and Severide could see the tear tracks. "I don't want Hallie to see," he told Severide.

Severide just nodded as he placed a tissue into Casey's weak grip, he watched for a short while as Casey tried to tighten his grip on the thin sheet and move his hand up to his face but it was all too much to bear. "Here," Severide smiled, "Let me." He took the tissue from Casey's hand and gently wiped away the tears.

"Thank you."

"You'll always be the strong one, Matt."

That made him smile. "Yeah? You just witnessed me failing to hold a tissue. Can barely move my arms yet."

"Yet." Severide smiled back at him when he heard that word, that positive word. "And you know, strong isn't always physical."


	9. Hand Holding

Severide’s hand was being crushed but he wasn’t going to pull it away. It felt like the bones were grinding against each other, he wouldn’t have been surprised if they were breaking. But he didn’t care.

Casey was gritting his teeth. He was biting his lip. He was holding Severide’s hand. But nothing was stemming the pain he felt. It felt like his side was on fire. Like his insides were exploding. He couldn’t think of anything but the pain. 

“We’re nearly there, just hold on for me baby, we’re nearly there.”

Casey couldn’t hear Severide’s words. 

“Hang in there baby, you’ve got this, you’re gonna be ok.”


	10. Sick

Severide had turned up early to pick Casey up from his chemotherapy round. He thought that perhaps Casey would like the company.

He was wrong.

He arrived at Casey's room to the sound of retching. He entered with a concerned expression across his face. This was the first time he'd seen Casey so sick because of the drugs they were pumping into his body. There was a nurse in the room, she was hooking Casey up to some fluids as he continued to throw up the acidic contents of his stomach.

He walked in further so that he was now facing Casey. He looked awful and Severide couldn't help but gaze at him for a few moments. There was a thin sheen of sweat covering his pale skin. Dark shadows under his eyes. His lips were dry and chapped. He wore a thin t-shirt, grey joggers, thick socks and a CFD beanie. The central line poked out of his lose fitting top. The IV line was securely taped to the back of his hand.

"What can I do, Matt?" he asked sincerely as the nurse took away the soiled emesis basin. It was swapped for a fresh one.

Casey gazed up at him. "Leave…" he croaked out. His throat raw.

"Do you want…" Severide was cut off as Casey started to retch once more. With nothing left in his stomach the spasms wrecked at his core as he struggled to breathe.

"Please…" he began between ragged breaths, "Leave…"

"Casey…"

"Go…"

"Matt, you're my best friend, I don't care what…"

"Go…" Casey struggled as he continued to heave.

Severide stepped back away and edged over to the door where the nurse was just tidying up her equipment. "What can I do?" he asked her in a hushed tone.

"Not much I'm afraid," she spoke sympathetically.

Severide just watched, his heart breaking, unable to do anything as Casey moved from his position perched on the edge of the bed into a foetal position. An attempt to stem the nausea.

"I'll… erm… mouthwash? Fresh clothes? Will that make him more comfortable?"

"They may," the nurse replied, "I'll be at the desk if you need me. Matt knows to use the call button if he needs any help."

He watched her leave before glancing back over to Casey's trembling form and leaving himself.

Severide returned a short while later with a bag in his hand, items courtesy of the hospital shop and a vending machine. He walked back over to Casey and knelt down so they were eye level. He'd never seen Casey make himself look so small, he was curled so tightly in on himself that he barely took up a quarter of the hospital bed.

He opened the bottle of Gatorade as he spoke. "Do you think you can sit up a little?"

Casey just shook his head ever so slightly.

"Ok. No worries, bud."

Soon Casey was sipping at the Gatorade Severide was holding through a straw. Still lying curled up on his side, the only position where he didn't feel quite so sick.

"That good, huh?" Severide smiled as Casey drank half the bottle before letting the straw slip from his lips. "Are you cold or hot?" he asked next since Casey was uncovered on the bed and he wanted to make sure he was as comfortable as possible.

"Hot…"

"All right, not too much I can do about that… erm… pants off?" he suggested as he thought out loud.

Casey just muttered an incoherent moan at the idea.

"It's ok. I don't mind," Severide reassured him before slowly slipping off Casey's pants and socks, and removing his beanie. "There we go, better?"

"Mmm…"

For the next hour, until Casey began to feel marginally better, Severide remained by Casey's side, he held a cold damp cloth to his skin, interchanging it between his forehead and the back of his neck.

"Kel… thanks… thanks for not listening to me…"

"Anytime, bud."


	11. Need

There was barely a patch of Casey's clothing that wasn't covering in blood. It was smeared on the pale and bruised skin that was visible through rips and tears. It was dripping thickly down a laceration above his eye.

Severide's legs carried him over to him through the crowd without even thinking. "Matt…" He held out an arm because it looked like Casey would collapse any moment.

"Please get me out of here…" Casey's eyes were unfocused, his voice was ragged, whispered, strained.

Severide led Casey out of the building, past all of the police officers, the firefighters, and with each step Casey took he could feel him faltering.

"Sit," Severide instructed when he'd walked Casey over to one of the awaiting ambulances.

"It's not mine. My head, hands. Nothing else is mine," Casey spoke as he noticed the blur of movement by the paramedics.

It wasn't too long before they reassured Severide, "He's right." She focused back on Casey, "Your going to need some stitches and a head CT just to be safe, all right lieutenant?"

"Sure…"

"I'll ride with you, Matt."

Casey shook his head at the suggestion. "I'm ok now. Don't need you."

"Maybe not, but I need you. I need you to be ok."


	12. Christmas Present

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This takes place in the Don't Tell universe, it takes place more than one year after the story had ended.

"Merry Christmas, baby," Severide whispered into Casey's ear.

"Mmm…" Casey smiled as he woke. "Hi," he greeted Severide as he opened his eyes.

"Hi."

"Morning," he spoke, still smiling up at Severide.

"Morning," Severide repeated, laughing a little at Casey's numerous greetings.

"I never loved waking up so much since I got to wake up next to you." He lifted himself up onto his elbows and planted a kiss on Severide's lips. "Merry Christmas, Kelly."

"Dinner with my father later is going to be interesting," Severide commented, lying back down by Casey's side.

"Your father loves me," he joked.

"Everyone loves you." Severide turned to face him. "You're just so blond and perfect."

"And I'm all yours."

"Don't think anyone else would have you if they scratched below the surface."

"Are you telling me I'm not perfect?" Casey questioned with mock offence.

"You're perfect to me… and that woman who gave you a great whopping big smooch after you dragged her from that fire…"

"Says you, you serial philanderer," he grinned teasingly as he gently grabbed hold of Severide's arms, he flipped him over and straddled him. The sheets had fallen away and he bent down and left a trail of kisses up from his chest to his lips.

When Casey suddenly paused his affectionate actions Severide spoke, "Hey, you can't stop there…"

"Kelly?" he frowned, "What's that noise?"

"Oh no…" Severide muttered, "Erm... that might be your Christmas present…"

"My Christmas present?"

"I think it's escaped," Severide replied, moving Casey over so he was no longer straddling him.

"Escaped?" he repeated.

Severide swiftly got off the bed. "Stay here."

Casey remained sitting on the bed, frowning at the commotion he could hear from behind the bedroom door. Then there was silence.

"Close your eyes," Severide instructed. "Are they closed?"

"They're closed."

Severide opened the bedroom door. "Hands out."

As soon as Casey felt the soft ball of squirming fluff in his hands he opened his eyes. "Kelly!" he beamed, "You didn't?"

"I did," Severide nodded, grinning madly at Casey's happiness.

"She's… he's… amazing… I can't believe you did this, I thought you were joking, I didn't think you wanted…"

"She," Severide supplied. "And I thought it was about time I committed to something other than sex with you."

"Thank you… she's perfect. You're perfect… my present's going to pale in comparison to her… does she have a name?"

"No," Severide shook his head.

"You should name her… wait, what are we going to do when we're at work…"

"She'll be coming to the firehouse with us now Pouch has found another home," Severide explained.

"Really?"

"Yeah, spoke to Boden."

"Spoke to Boden? What did you say? Two of your lieutenants have been fucking each other and can we bring our puppy to work?" he laughed at that, still snuggling the golden haired puppy to his chest.

"Said it was yours, that you could do with some company at home… after everything…"

"Oh, so you just made it look like I was gonna have a breakdown instead?" he shook his head, grinning. He looked down, "She's beautiful, thank you."

"How about Ivy?" Severide suggested suddenly.

"Ivy," he repeated, "Perfect."


	13. The Right Time

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> 4.18 On The Warpath

Severide noticed Casey as he tried to slip unnoticed out of Molly's; in fact he'd noticed his friends rather sombre mood all night. He wondered whether he should stop him leaving and ask him what was wrong when before he'd even thought of an excuse not to, he found himself grabbing Casey's shoulder beckoning him to stay.

"It's been a long day. I'm going home," Casey stated sullenly before Severide could tell him to stay and enjoy the celebrations. Now he was closer to his roommate than he had been all night he could see his red rimmed and slightly bloodshot eyes and came to the conclusion that he wasn't leaving now just because it had been a long day, something had happened; he'd been knocking back champagne like it was water since he'd congratulated Mouch.

"I'll share the cab," Severide stated.

A little slow to react to his suggestion Casey frowned. "I'm not getting a cab," he slurred.

"You can't drive," Severide said incredulously.

"I know," he spoke disdainfully and turned back to the wooden door which itself sent a feeling of regret into the pit of his stomach, things had seemed much more simple when Dawson had picked it out at the salvage store.

Severide forcefully grabbed his arm and turned him back round to stop him from going home drunk without him but Casey shook his arm off. "Case!" he admonished.

"Leave it will you!" Casey raised his voice and backed away before he turned and left the bar, leaving Severide to sigh regrettably and turn back to the wedding guests.

Less than an hour later Severide still couldn't get rid of the niggling feeling in his stomach telling him to call it a night and make sure Casey had returned home safely.

"You're gonna feel rough in the morning," Severide announced when he found Casey slumped on the couch with several empty beer cans in front of him. He must have been downing them just like he had done with the champagne because he can't have been home any longer than forty-five minutes as he'd walked.

"I already do," he slurred, his suit jacket was sprawled on the floor near the front door, the top four buttons of his white shirt had been pulled open, and his tie hung loosely as if he'd begun to take it off but given up after a few moments of fumbling.

Severide spoke evenly, looking down at Casey's dishevelled form with concern. "I'm not surprised after drinking this much."

"I deserve it," he stated bluntly.

"To drink this much?" Severide frowned, Casey wasn't usually one to drink this excessively.

"To feel this rough," he explained tiredly. Severide was a little surprised he'd yet to pass out from the intoxication, then again he wouldn't have been surprised if Herrmann and Mouch had watered down the champagne at the bar.

"Ok…" Severide said slowly, "I'm gonna sit down now and ask you what's wrong, if you tell me you're fine…"

Casey scoffed. "I am not fine," he stated with a thin smile.

Severide raised his eyebrows, he'd not been expecting that at all and wasn't sure if he should be pleased at his usually stoic friend's admission or even more concerned at his willingness to admit he wasn't ok.

Casey shook his head a laughed, which only worried Severide more, he sighed. "I don't think I should go to weddings. The first time I asked her to marry me was at Boden's wedding…"

"Oh..." Severide let slip as he realised where the conversation was going, no wonder Casey had been so sullen all night.

"Apparently things are great the way they are…" Casey sighed, his eyes were glassy and there was a thin sheen of sweat on his pale face making a few sections of his windswept hair stick to his forehead, giving him the look of and an adorably lost puppy especially when coupled with the slightly petulant pout his lips currently formed as he thought out loud. "She hasn't even properly moved back here and she likes the way things are? I suggested she moved to engine now there's a spot, she wouldn't even have to move house… What do I do now? Do _I_ transfer?"

"You love 51," Severide told him.

"And I love Gabby," he responded and he frowned, "What?" he asked harshly in response to Severide's expression.

"Maybe it won't ever be the right time… maybe she'll always like the way things, are" Severide replied carefully unaware that these thoughts had been swirling around Casey's head since he walked away from Dawson at the bar.

Casey sighed. "I need another drink," he slurred and stood up on unstable legs.

"I think you've had enough," Severide warned him but Casey staggered over to the fridge nonetheless.

"I've had enough of everything," he muttered as he opened the last beer he found in the fridge, Severide was only grateful the hard stuff was out of reach from his friend in his drunken stupor. Sitting back down on the couch with a heavy thud, spilling a few droplets of the golden liquid onto his suit pants, he spoke, "I just want to forget I ever asked her."


	14. Why Do I Care?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> AU post 3.23 Spartacus
> 
> WARNING: CHARACTER DEATH

_"Kelly, it's Voight. We've got Casey, taking him to Med to get checked out,"_ Voight explained through the phone.

Severide breathed a sigh of relief. He'd not left the apartment since he had found Katya's body and called it in, he'd wanted to go with Voight but had been forced to remain at home whilst the coroner came to collect the body and police had scoured the place for any evidence if it turned out that they'd disposed of Casey's phone.

Grimly he asked, "Have you told him?"

 _"No. He's already in shock, don't know exactly what happened in there but he's going to need a friend and with…"_ Voight said.

"Yeah… I'll meet you there," Severide said before hanging up, grabbing his coat and driving over to Chicago Med.

When Severide arrived at the hospital he spotted Voight and a uniformed police officer. "Where is he?" he demanded as he walked up to them, "How is he?"

"He's in with the doctor at the moment," Voight replied and indicated to the far end of the ER. Severide strolled straight past Voight, ignoring his protests, he went to the end of the ER to the curtained off area he assumed his friend was behind.

"Casey?" he questioned as he stood at the closed curtain. A doctor appeared and let him in. Casey was sat on the edge of the gurney in just his jeans, his chest was heavily bruised and he was holding an ice pack up to the right hand side of his face. He looked at him with his eyes wide and watery. His friend was in pain. "Oh God Matt…" the words slipped out Severide's mouth as he took in his appearance.

Casey cleared his throat. "I'm all right," he said gruffly. "Looks worse than it is. Really," he said indicating to the doctor.

"We're just waiting for the MRI to rule out any skull fractures," the doctor explained and Severide shared a concerned glance with Casey, knowing how fragile his skull already was. "But I think he just has a minor concussion. No broken ribs but he'll be sore for the next few days. I'd like to keep him overnight for observation because of his previous medical history."

"I just want to go home," Casey stated.

"You should stay Matt, just in case… and the apartment's a bit of a mess right now…" Severide said carefully.

"A porter will come and get you for your MRI and we'll talk afterwards," the doctor said before he left.

Severide couldn't help but notice Casey wince in pain even as he was sitting still. "They give you something for the pain?" he asked.

"He offered but I'm ok. And Voight said something about giving a statement, probably best if I'm not high on painkillers," he grinned, trying to hide his pain. "Is Antonio coming?" he sighed and admitted, "I can't deal with Voight right now."

"Erm… he's tied up with something at the moment," Severide said softly.

"Great," Casey replied unenthusiastically.

Severide sat down on the edge of the bed next to him. "Listen, Matt…" he began cautiously but the curtain was drawn open and a porter was revealed.

"Lieutenant Casey?" he questioned, he was standing behind a wheelchair that Casey eyed with distaste.

"Yeah," Casey replied.

"Time to go up for your MRI," the porter explained and Casey slowly put his shirt back on, grimacing as he brought it down over his head.

Glumly Casey sat in the wheelchair and was taken for his MRI. Severide followed and waited in the corridor for twenty minutes or so before Casey appeared again.

"You're lucky we've managed to get you a private room, it's been a busy day," the porter chatted away as Casey was taken to his room for overnight observation and given a hospital gown to change into.

The doctor came and reassured both Casey and Severide that the MRI came back clean, but they still wanted to keep him overnight because of his previous injury and because of the ordeal he had just been through, although Casey was his usual stoic self, insisting that he was perfectly fine.

When Severide was finally alone with Casey in the room he pulled up a chair closer to the bed and sat down. "Matt…" he began slowly and quietly, he didn't want to say it but he knew Casey needed to know and he was the best person to tell him even if he didn't want to believe the situation himself.

"Mmm?" Casey mumbled as he turned his head to face him. He looked into Severide's eyes and frowned with worry. "Sev? What's wrong?"

"… It's Gabby," Severide replied softly, carefully watching Casey's facial expression, "I'm sorry, Matt, but…" Casey was looking at him with a blank expression, "... There was an incident at a call, a warehouse fire. She… she didn't make it… I'm so sor…"

"What?" Casey questioned disbelievingly.

"She…" Severide could barely say the words himself, they had lost another and saying it made it so much more real. "… She died, Matt. I'm sorry."

Casey wasn't saying anything. His expression hadn't changed. He remained sat on the bed looking directly at Severide, barely blinking. His breathing had slowed. His heart felt like it had dropped into his stomach. The world had shattered around him. He didn't know how long he had remained silent and unmoving before he opened his mouth and uttered, "No," he shook his head.

"I'm so sorry," Severide spoke softly and moved to put his hand on Casey's shoulder to comfort him, but he shrugged it off.

"Can I be on my own?" Casey asked. He was no longer looking at Severide; he was staring down at the bed cover slowly retreating into his own world.

"Matt…" Severide began, he knew Casey shouldn't be on his own now, not after this news and not after everything he'd been through with Nesbitt.

"Please," he said simply, still staring down at the bed covers. Severide didn't leave. "Just go," Casey insisted.

"Matt you…" Severide started.

"Just go!" Casey yelled, slamming his fist down onto the bed in anger. He was breathing heavily and tears were threatening to fall from his eyes, like a dam about to break.

Severide leant down and grabbed him, he wrapped his arms around him and felt Casey shuddering underneath his strong vice like grip as he broke down and cried.

"I shouldn't care, she didn't love me enough to... why do I care?"

"Because you're a good person. I'm so sorry, Matt," Severide uttered, he didn't know what else he could say or do except be there for him.


	15. Phone Calls

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> 1.11 God Has Spoken

Casey was standing outside his sister's door, holding the photo she had just handed him before closing the door on him. _Well, that went well…_ he sighed before heading back to his truck. He didn't drive off, he just remained sitting in the truck, he only wanted to do what he thought was best for his mom, he didn't want it get in between him and Christie again, not now they were trying to talk to each other more often. He understood where she was coming from but she was set in her way and didn't even want to listen to his reasons, she had not even been there when it had all gone down over fifteen years ago, his parents relationship had gotten worse and worse whilst she had been off at college and he had still been at home.

He had no one else to talk to about his mom since he had broken up with Hallie, so it would be good if he and Christie could talk about it without having a door shut in his face. He had been hoping that tonight was going to be a good start to improving their relationship together, and take his mind of the last few shifts and his run in with Ted Griffin, the ambulance accident and Cruz's near confession. His hopes of a nice relaxed social evening were now gone, he could go to a bar and have a drink by himself but that seemed rather depressing. He recalled Dawson telling him to talk to her if he ever needed to; he spent a few moments wondering whether to take her up on the offer before deciding to call her.

The phone rang all the way through to voicemail, he hung up without leaving a message, sure that she'd call back if she was free, but for now his only choice seemed to be going back home to his empty house. He was still looking down at the call log on his phone, he spotted Severide's name. They had had their differences recently but things were better now, nearly back to the way things were before Andy died. He decided to call him; at least then maybe he could grab a drink with him instead of sitting at home on his own.

Shay was sat on the couch in their apartment when Severide's phone began to ring, usually she'd just leave it for him to pick up later, but she saw Casey's name light up as it buzzed and he rarely called so she moved stiffly, she was still incredibly sore from the accident a few days ago, and picked up the call. "Hey Matt, it's Shay. Kelly's just popped out to get some pizza, wanna leave him a message?" She doubted he would but asked anyway hoping to discover why he was calling.

 _"Oh right,"_ he replied quietly, _"Well, it doesn't matter. I hope you're feeling bet…"_

Shay decided to cut him off before he said his goodbyes. "Are you ok, Casey?" she asked with concern. She knew something was wrong but she also knew him too well; he wouldn't ask for help.

And true to himself. _"I'm fine. I better go, I'll see you soon,"_ he said quickly before hanging up.

Not long later Severide walked through the door with two fresh pizzas, he put them on the coffee table before putting away the ice cream Shay had been devouring. "Another film?" he suggested.

Shay ignored the question _._ "Casey called you," she stated.

"Oh," he replied, a little surprised, they never called each other anymore. "What did he want?" he asked curiously.

Shay shrugged as much as her sore neck would let her, "He didn't say."

"He called just to say hi?" Severide mocked, already suspecting that something was wrong with his friend.

"I tried to speak to him, but you know Casey," she replied.

"I'll call him back, pizza can wait," he said and Shay agreed.

Casey was sat on his couch nursing a beer, there was a game on the TV but he wasn't paying it any attention. Dawson hadn't called him back and he had no one else to call after he spoke to Shay. Despite having a few breaks during their eight year long relationship he still missed having Hallie to speak to, he felt like he had no one to talk his worries through with.

He still wasn't a hundred percent convinced that he should speak up for his mom at the parole hearing, he hadn't done at any of her previous ones where Christie had actually spoken against her. Casey understood why but deep down he thought it would be nice to be able to see his mom when he wanted. He knew it was perhaps a selfish and childish fantasy, but it would be nice to have his mom back even though they had their differences she was still his mom and his life had been turned upside down when she had killed his father. Not only because he was gone but she was taken away as well and Christie was away at college; he had lost his whole family that day.

His phone starting buzzing on the coffee table, he picked it up to discover it was Severide who was calling him. "Hello," he spoke into the receiver.

 _"Hey, sorry I missed your call earlier, you need something?"_ Severide asked him.

"Oh, no, don't worry about it," he replied quickly.

 _"Casey?"_ Severide questioned with concern.

"What are you doing tomorrow?" Casey asked to try and change the subject away from him.

 _"Nothing really…"_ he replied before suggesting, _"You wanna go for a run?"_

"Yeah," Casey replied, "Yeah, ok."

 _"Go from yours? 8am?"_ Severide asked.

"Sounds good," he replied.

 _"Good, I'll see you in the morning,"_ Severide said before they said their goodbyes to each other.

Casey put the phone down and smiled, happy that for the first time in months he and Severide were doing something together.


	16. It's The Home Part

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> 3.09 Arrest in Transit

Casey pulled up outside of Molly's and got out of his truck. The door to the bar was propped open by a stool so he stepped inside unnoticed by the two occupants who were sitting at the bar.

Mills was sitting with Dawson. "… a lot of pressure working together. I don't know how you guys do it," he spoke softly to her, unaware they now had company.

"That's the thing, it's not the work part that's tough," Dawson explained. _"_ It's… it's the... it's the home part. I honestly don't know what to do," she finished and Mills put his hand over hers.

Casey didn't know what to do, he couldn't believe what he was seeing. He shifted his weight slightly as he stood there still shocked at what he was witnessing.

Mills noticed him first. _"_ Hey Matt," he said, greeting him as if he hadn't just heard what his fiancée had told her ex, as if he hadn't seen him holding her hand.

"Matt," Dawson said when she saw him rooted to the spot with his eyes wide with an expression that portrayed sadness and a hint of betrayal.

Casey turned to leave and as he did he heard Dawson calling after him. He didn't stop and she didn't follow him out the door. He got back in his truck and drove off.

He didn't drive home. He didn't know where to go. He didn't have anywhere to go. He just drove aimlessly around the streets of Chicago. Eventually he pulled up at a spot near the lake, turned the engine off and sat in the dark. His truck soon got cold without the heating on but Casey didn't notice as he was lost in his own thoughts. He loved Dawson, he didn't know what to do, his thoughts and feelings about her actions at work were still the same at home, he couldn't suddenly change his opinion on something just because they were at home. He loved her but at work he had to be her lieutenant and it wasn't as easy as he thought it would be to just switch off those thoughts when they were at home, especially when she wanted her fiancé on her side. He couldn't be two different people for her. He didn't know what to do. He felt like they were falling apart, he loved her but the situation wasn't working and he didn't know how to fix it, and seeing her confessing to her ex-boyfriend didn't exactly help the situation. How could she just say that too him? Their situation was hard enough on him, didn't she realise that? Didn't she realise he'd made sacrifices to allow her to work under him?

As Casey checked the time on his phone he saw several missed calls from Dawson and even from Severide. He sat in the cold and dark for a little while longer before heading back to the apartment, he would need to get at least some sleep before his shift started, and he hoped Dawson would be fast asleep when he got in so he could just be left to himself.

Quietly Casey unlocked and opened the apartment door before stepping inside.

"Matt," Dawson said with concern etched in her voice as he attempted to enter the apartment unnoticed, it looked like Dawson had been sitting on the couch waiting for him. "Me and Kelly tried calling you…"

"I know," Casey said simply as he headed further into the apartment, dropping his truck keys on the desk table and taking his jacket off.

"He went out looking for you," Dawson explained.

Casey frowned. "What?" Why would Severide go out looking for him? Surely he was busy with Brittany as usual. Casey was annoyed that he'd spent time looking for him, he hadn't wanted someone to waste their time just for him, he suddenly felt like he must have been a burden tonight, keeping Dawson up waiting and even Severide had gone looking for him. He wondered what Dawson had told him.

"We were worried… You didn't come home," Dawson explained.

"Why would I have come home?" Casey said with his eyes furrowed, he sighed. "Look, I'm gonna sleep on the couch," he said exasperated, he really didn't want to deal with this right now, he was exhausted and a small part of him wished he'd never gone to Molly's.

"Matt, it's nearly 4am just come to bed with me," she said.

"I want to be on my own," Casey replied forcefully.

Casey watched Dawson go to their bedroom and close the door behind her. He sighed and ran his hands through his hair, everything felt like it was a mess, he loved her and all he wanted was their situation with work and home life to work out, but just like she had said to Mills and he had said earlier in the day to her, it was difficult to separate the work from home and it was much easier to leave their home life away from work.

After Casey showered he sorted the pillows and grabbed a blanket before settling on the couch for a few hours sleep. It took a while for him to drift off. Dawson's words kept echoing round his head and the image of her and Mills holding hands kept flashing up in his mind, but eventually he slipped into a dreamless sleep.

Casey was woken up just after 6:30am to the sound of Severide getting a mug of coffee, he sat up. Severide must have seen him wake up as he came over and sat on the chair nearby, passing him a mug of coffee. "Thanks," Casey said sleepily.

"Why'd you sleep on the couch?" Severide smiled and Casey just shook his head in response. "What happened last night? Went for a drive to find you, Gabby was worried 'cause you weren't home when she got back from work…"

So Dawson hadn't said anything to Severide, Casey realised. Casey sighed and shook his head again. "Doesn't matter," he said dismissively.

"You sure, bud?" Severide asked, concerned. "You never just ignore calls and come home in the early hours…"

"Sorry," Casey said but Severide shook his head and smiled, he wasn't looking for an apology he was just worried about his friend. "Didn't ruin your night did I?" he asked.

"No," Severide said, "Brittany's gone home." Casey frowned and Severide then explained, "For good."

"Sev…" Casey began but he wasn't quite sure what to say, "I'm sorry."

"No, no, it's all good, I'm happy… and she is too," Severide said with a smile.

Casey wasn't sure he'd ever fully understand their marriage but if Severide was happy he wasn't going to worry about it. "Ok," he said smiling, "That's good then." He heard movement coming from his bedroom and realised Dawson must be getting up so Casey took a few more sips of his coffee, got up, changed and styled his hair before chucking on his coat and grabbing his keys before leaving the apartment. Leaving Severide wondering what had actually happened between him and Dawson last night.


	17. I'm Fine

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> 1.01 Pilot

Severide had lost sight of Casey. He'd seen him speaking to Mills and all Severide had done was put his oxygen tank into the rig, turned back and Casey had gone. He quickly scanned the area, breathing a sigh of relief as he spotted him with Boden greeting the Mayor. He shook his head at the concern he'd felt (but damnit it was Casey, Casey had fallen and Herrmann was off to the hospital) before walking over to greet the Mayor himself. Casey had disappeared again (could he stop doing that because it felt like he was having a small heart attack every time it happened) but he soon found him leaning against the back of Truck 81.

"Herrmann?" ("Are you ok?") Severide asked as he approached him.

The small shrug Casey gave was very telling. He had the whole world on his shoulders right now.

"He'll be fine." ("He'll be fine and it wasn't your fault.")

"Yeah," Casey responded noncommittally.

"Did you get checked out?" ("How badly are you hurt?")

"Me?" Casey smiled. "I'm fine."

He nodded. "Of course you are… we won't need everyone for overhaul, why don't you get your guys back, get to the hospital…"

"I'm fine," Casey repeated, harder this time.

"You fell through two floors, landed on your tank, lost your mask."

"And you care?" Casey questioned, much more harshly than intended.

("Yes.") Severide said nothing and watched as Casey strode away.


	18. Numb

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> WARNING: CHARACTER DEATH

"Casey… c'mon." Severide touched his shoulder, wanting to pull him away. "Nothing you can do."

Casey was still staring at body in front of him, shaking his head. "I… I told her not…"

"Everyone heard everything over the radios, it wasn't your fault, she didn't listen."

Casey swallowed and pulled his gaze away, the pool of blood had now extended to his boots. He looked at Severide. "I told her…"

"Shh… it's ok, c'mon let's get your hand checked out, all right?"

He nodded numbly and let Severide lead him away.


	19. Severide's Trick

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Friends to lovers in less than 1000 words challenge!

Casey was glad to finally be heading home, his shift had dragged on, it felt like he'd done more paperwork in the last few weeks than actual rescues which was a surprise given the terrible weather they were having at the moment. Chicago was in the middle of winter, the city was covered in a thick blanket of snow. He was walking briskly out of the firehouse with his gym bag slung over his shoulder and holding a bottle of water in one hand when he heard Severide call his name.

"Case!" Severide rushed out of the door after him. "Hold up…"

And that was when Casey's morning got a whole lot worse. He'd turned around quickly to face Severide but continued turn involuntarily on the icy ground. He fell straight down with a thud, unable to even put his hands out to break the fall.

"Matt!" Severide called when he saw that Casey wasn't getting up. "You all right, bud?"

Casey scrambled up onto his knees, disorientated and a little dazed. He brought a shaky hand up to his nose, moving it away he saw all the blood. "Ow…" he winced.

"Shit…" Severide swore as he swiftly knelt down next to him. "Don't move. Let me have a look…"

Casey turned his head from Severide's hands. "I'm fine."

"Your nose is bleeding," he pointed out unnecessarily, trying to hide the worry he felt at the sight of so much thick blood gushing heavily down Casey's face.

Casey opened his mouth to speak once again.

Severide shook his head. "And don't tell me you're fine again…" He didn't miss Casey's eye roll as he brought his hand back up to his nose in an attempt to stem the bleeding. "Did you blackout? Are you dizzy? You really need…"

"I'm…"

"Damnit Casey..."

"Sev, I'm all right, really," he nodded reassuringly, his brows creased at Severide's worry.

"You've probably broken your nose…"

"Which isn't life threatening," he spluttered through the blood that was dripping heavily over his mouth and down the back of his throat.

Severide was rummaging in his own bag now until he pulled out what he'd been looking for. He offered the item to Casey. "Here…"

"What the hell?"

"It'll help stop the bleeding," Severide explained.

"I'm not sticking a… why do you have a tampon?"

Severide just shrugged. "Emergencies."

"Emergencies?" Casey repeated incredulously.

"Well, normally of the female kind," he responded.

"Oh my God…" Casey muttered. "Do you offer tampons in exchange for numbers? Does that even work?"

"Quit talking," he spoke as he leant in with the tampon.

Casey moved back. "Don't. If anyone is sticking a tampon up my nose it's me."

"What the…" a voice interrupted them, "Casey, you all right? Did Severide…"

Casey didn't look over to Herrmann, he was looking into Severide's eyes as he responded. "He didn't hit me," he said with a small smile.

Severide spoke up, "Why does everyone always assume…"

"Let's get inside," Herrmann said now he was right by Casey's side, "Get you checked out…"

"I'm all right…"

"No, Herrmann's right," Severide agreed, smiling now he had Herrmann on his side, as he slipped the tampon back in his bag. "It could be broken, you might need surgery."

"Why are you smiling? Wait…" he paused, "Does it look like I need surgery?"

"It looks fine lieutenant," Herrmann replied, "But it is bleeding really heavily. What happened?"

Herrmann's question went unanswered. Casey didn't want this incident spoken of again. Severide picked up Casey's gym bag and water bottle before they headed back into the firehouse.

"You ok? Dizzy?" Severide asked quickly when Casey stood still once they'd entered the building.

"Let's not bother anyone, I don't want the whole house knowing I fell over and broke my own nose," he explained. His hand was still up by his nose, the blood was dripping down under the cuffs off his jacket sleeves. "Just get a first aid kit, bring it to the bathroom. Herrmann you might as well get home, I'm fine."

"You should really get it checked out…" Herrmann insisted.

"I will," Casey replied.

Once Herrmann had left Severide spoke again, "You will?"

"I might," Casey shrugged.

"C'mon." He led Casey over to the bathroom, they were fortunate third watch were all sat around in the common room. "Promise I won't stick a tampon up your nose," he smirked.

In the bathroom Casey studied his nose in the mirror, the bleeding had eventually stopped but now the dried blood on his face made him look like an extra from a low budget horror movie. He winced as it moved a little under his gentle grip. "I think it really is broken…" he sighed.

"You definitely need to get it checked out then," Severide pointed out, passing Casey a wet tissue, "And stop touching it if it hurts. I'll take you to the ER."

"I don't need you to take me," he replied as he started to wipe away the blood.

"Then how can I be sure you really did get it checked?" Severide questioned.

"Guess you'll just have to trust me." Casey finished wiping the blood away from his face and turned to Severide, who was still looking rather apprehensive. "Does it work?" Casey asked.

"What?"

Casey grinned, "Your tampon trick? Does it even work?"

"Why?" he frowned.

"What are you doing tonight? Unless you don't…"

"No, I do," Severide spoke quietly, "And to be honest… this was the first time it worked."


	20. Walking Away

Feeling a shift of weight on the mattress Casey woke up. He perched himself up on his elbows, the sheet fell away, revealing his bare muscled chest. He frowned at the man who was getting dressed at the end of his bed. "What are you doing?" he asked.

"Going home."

"You don't need to." He shook his head, willing the man to stay. "Come back to bed."

"I can't."

"Was it… was it bad? Did I do something wrong?" he asked, dread in his tone.

"No, no, of course you didn't but I did something wrong. I'm sorry."

"Sorry?" he repeated, sitting up on the bed, not bothering to cover himself with the sheets that had slipped even further.

"I shouldn't have let you. This shouldn't have happened."

"Because you didn't like it?"

"No, Matt. We can't do this. I can't do this… I'm not…"

"Not what?"

"I'm sorry."

His heart was hammering in his chest now. "What were you going to do? Sneak out whilst I was sleeping? Act like it didn't happen?"

"It shouldn't have happened, I shouldn't have let it get this far."

"I wanted this. You wanted this?"

"I did want it but I shouldn't want it, not with you…"

"Why?" he questioned, trying desperately to keep his voice steady. "It doesn't have to be a long term thing, it doesn't even have to be a thing, but we can't pretend this hasn't happened…"

"I've got to go…"

"Kelly, stop!"

"Matt…"

"Just one reason."

"I'll break your heart. You don't deserve that."

He shook his head. "Too late," he spoke quietly.

"You deserve better. See you at work, Casey."

And with that Severide walked away.


	21. The Banana Incident

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> WARNING: SEXUAL CONTENT

Almost everyone was in the common room. Lunch had been served up half an hour ago. Severide was sitting over on the small table next to Capp and Tony who were having a heated discussion about last night's hockey game. Casey was sitting at the head of the main table, an empty plate in front of him and a banana in his hand.

Casey caught Severide's eye as he began to peel the yellow skin off the banana. His pink tongue slipped out, wetting his soft lips before taking the first small bite. All the while his eyes bore into Severide's.

Severide knew exactly what Casey was doing, sitting there teasing him. He watched longingly as Casey wrapped his lips around the end of the banana. This time he didn't take a bite and he wasn't looking into his eyes now. Casey's tongue darted out again. No one else would have noticed this seductive display but Severide spotted every single little detail about Casey that everybody else was simply oblivious to. Like the way he scratched at the back of his hand when he was nervous. The way he ran his fingers through his perfect blond mop of hair when he was stressed. The way he bit his lip when he was reading.

Casey stopped momentarily, nodding and smiling at Herrmann who sat down at the table, speaking to him, but Severide couldn't hear his words. Casey got back to his task. Severide frowned, almost in disbelief at all the teasing. He watched as Casey opened his mouth, that perfect mouth, and slowly wrapped his lips around the thick fruit but he didn't take a bite. He edged it back out and took a small nibble instead. He swallowed and wet his lips before catching Severide's eyes again.

Severide hadn't taken his eyes off Casey since he'd started toying him with the fruit. The blood was rushing to his groin. He could hear his own heartbeat. He shook his head towards Casey. Damn him. He knew exactly what this would do to him. He couldn't look away from Casey's lips. Those perfect kissable lips. Those seductive red lips. No one should have lips that perfect but he did and he sure could put them to good work. Casey's mouth was like a masterpiece of design. The things that he could do. Severide almost came right there in the common room just thinking about it.

Casey's tongue slipped out. He dragged it over the banana and took a bite. He was good at this. Only Severide could see his actions. He took another bite and another. But this time he held the tip of the fruit in his mouth teasingly.

Severide shook his head. Eyes smiling. His pants were straining over the bulge between his legs. His boxers were wet with precome. Before Casey finished the banana he got up and dashed out of the common room.

Casey sat back with a satisfied smile. After a moment he too got up and followed Severide. He knew exactly where he would be. He knew a cold shower would be more than necessary after his teasing.

Severide was standing under the shower stream when he heard footsteps. He knew it was Casey.

"What was that?" he asked from behind the curtain.

"Payback," Casey responded, pulling the curtain open a little.

"What have I done?"

Casey just smiled. He spoke quietly, "It's torture. Being around you for twenty-four hours, not being able to touch you, not being able to…"

"Fuck me," Severide finished for him but he wasn't just finishing his sentence.

Casey was silent. Almost unsure. His eyes questioning.

"I said fuck me," Severide repeated, his voice heavy with need, "Get in here and fuck me now."

He kicked off his shoes and stepped into the shower cubicle fully clothed.


	22. All My Heart

Severide went over to the couch and sat down next to Casey. He glanced at him, the bruises on his face and around his neck had only darkened. "How are..." he began.

"You don't need to stay with me," Casey spoke up. His eyes were staring ahead. The TV was on but he wasn't watching.

"I know," he replied, nodding. He went to touch Casey's thighs but stopped. He remembered how he'd flinched away even from the slightest touch at the hospital.

After a few moments Casey turned to him, looking him in the eyes now. "Who saw?" he asked.

Severide cast his gaze down for a second before responding, "Boden, me, and the detectives."

"That's it?"

"Yeah," Severide nodded, "No one else at the firehouse saw. I promise."

"Ok," he looked away, "Can you just forget what you saw? Please."

Severide frowned, "Matt I… I can't just…"

"Yeah," he sighed, "I didn't think so."

"I don't think any less of you, I can't just forget it because I care about you, what we have… had… it wasn't just sex. Let me look after you, let me take care of you."

Casey turned to him again, eyes watery. "I'll be all right," he reassured him.

"I know."

"It could have been worse… I just wish no one had seen it, I wish you hadn't seen it."

"I know."

Slowly Severide took his hand. Casey didn't flinch.

"If the cops hadn't killed them then I would have done. And those videos; they're not going to haunt me. If anything they made me realise how much I do love you. I love you, Matt."

"You love me?"

"With all my heart."


	23. Scars

"Sev?" Casey called from the front room.

"Do you ever sleep in?" Severide groaned, rolling onto his stomach and checking the time.

"Some of us have other jobs to get to." Casey smiled as he appeared at their bedroom door.

"You've got time, come back to bed..." Severide began.

"We've been invited to a wedding," he said, holding up a cream and gold trimmed card.

"We?" Severide frowned.

"Kelly Severide plus one," he smiled. "I am your plus one," he grinned.

"Who's wedding?" Severide asked.

"A Julia Lucas and Jonathon Healy," he supplied.

"Eugh..." Severide groaned.

"What? Who is it?" he asked, his curiosity spiked.

"Some aunt. Her weddings get progressively less wedding like the more she has."

"Oh," he said disappointedly.

"You really want to go?" Severide questioned.

"I'm a little lacking on the family front, don't go to many weddings." He shrugged.

"Don't look at me like that," Severide stated.

"Like what?" He grinned.

"Fine, we'll go." Severide shook his head and grinned at Casey's insistence.

Severide was standing in the kitchen later that day. "You sure you don't want dinner?"

"Nah, I'm good," Casey replied from the couch. He'd not moved since he got home from the construction job he'd had on all day.

"It smells really good!" Severide tried tempting him.

"Maybe later." He'd felt nauseous all afternoon and the thought of eating something made him feel even more queasy.

"Bed?" Severide hinted.

"To sleep? Cause I'm not really in the mood for anything else," he replied tiredly.

"I'm taking to a wedding, the least you can do is..." Severide began mockingly.

"Maybe in the morning," he grimaced as a wave of nausea hit.

"What's wrong?" Severide asked.

He shook his head dismissively. "Nothing."

"You're holding your stomach and grimacing in pain, obviously it's not nothing," Severide responded.

"I probably just ate something funny."

"You've not eaten anything I haven't?" Severide questioned.

"Can we just go to bed? I'm exhausted."

Casey woke up in the middle of the night, the pain in his stomach was unbearable, it had been on and off for most of the previous day and it was now constant. He pushed the bed covers away and tried to curl in on himself to ease the agony he could feel spreading from his stomach.

"Matt?" Severide slurred. the sudden movement next to him had woken him up.

Severide switched on his bedside light, pushed the covers back and discovered Casey sweating profusely and trembling beside him.

"Oh God..." he muttered as he grabbed Casey's shoulder. "Matt? Can you hear me?"

But Casey was too far gone, the pain was overwhelming.

"Just hang on, you'll be ok."

Severide fumbled for his phone and dialled.

_"911, what's your emergency?"_

"I need an ambulance at 2134 North Fremont, my boyfriend's unresponsive, he's got a fever, I think it's his stomach," Severide explained quickly.

 _"All right, sir, there's an ambulance on its way to you now,"_ the operator replied.

There was a knock at the door a short while later. "Paramedics!"

"Come in," Severide called from his position on the bed. He was holding Casey, who'd passed out from the pain a few minutes ago. "In here!"

The paramedics hid their surprise at seeing two lieutenants from 51 in bed together wearing very little. They swiftly examined Casey, who whimpered despite his unconsciousness when the right lower quadrant of his abdomen was palpated. "Let's get him in the ambo!"

"What is it?" Severide asked urgently as he helped move Casey on the gurney.

"Possible acute appendicitis," came the quick response.

Casey woke blearily, the pain he'd felt before had lessened, and slowly he opened his eyes.

"Hey, you're ok, we're on the way to the hospital." It was Severide, he felt him brush his hand comfortingly through his hair. "You're going to be ok."

The paramedics rushed Casey into the ER. "33 years old male, temp 100.2 and rising, severe abdominal pain."

A doctor took charge as Casey was transferred onto the ER bed. "Get me the ultrasound machine."

"What's happening?" Severide demanded.

"Stay back, sir," a nurse ordered. "They're taking good care of him."

Casey had been whisked off for emergency surgery as soon as the doctor had seen the heavily inflamed appendix with the ultrasound. Severide paced the surgical waiting room floor.

"Hey." Shay entered the waiting room, Severide had called her from the ER. "How is he?"

"I dunno, they took him in there so quickly, said it could burst before they even open him up," he replied hurriedly.

"He'll be all right, I'm sure." Shay put an arm around his shoulders.

He shook his head. "He was in pain yesterday and he was trying to hide it."

"He's Casey, of course he was."

Several hours later Severide walked into Casey's hospital room, the surgery had gone well, there had been no complications.

"Hey," Casey greeted him groggily.

"Hey to you too, how are you feeling?"

"I'm missing an organ. It hurts," Casey croaked, managing to force a smile.

"They given you something?" he asked, for Casey to admit he was in pain it must have been bad.

"Few minutes ago," Casey slurred.

"Good." He nodded as he sat down at the end of the bed. "Don't ever do that to me again. We run into burning buildings for a living and you could have died in bed."

"Next to you," Casey murmured, "Not so bad."

"Just don't scare me like that again," he stated as he took Casey's hand in his, watchful of the IV line.

Casey slurred, "Sorry."

He shook his head, he didn't want apologies, he was just glad Casey was going to be all right. "I spoke to the nurse. She said you'll be out of here in no time if there's no complications and if you can keep your food down. She also said it would probably scar but not to worry because ladies love scars," he grinned.

"D'you love scars Sev?" he smiled sloppily.

"Those drugs kicking in?" Severide laughed.

"Uh huh," Casey murmured and let his eyes drift close just as felt Severide's lips softly kiss his forehead.


	24. Memorable

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A continuation from the previous drabble.
> 
> WARNING: SEXUAL CONTENT

Casey was standing in front of the mirror fastening his tie when there was movement behind him. "You look good," he heard Severide comment.

He turned around and scoffed. "Do you intend on going shirtless?"

"I thought we could…" Severide began slyly.

"We've got to go." He shook his head. "Now or we'll be late, we might hit traffic as it is."

"We can just be… fashionably late." Severide shrugged.

"No one can be fashionably late to a wedding, it would be interrupting," he stated.

They entered the registry office a few minutes before the wedding was due to take place.

"Kelly," Benny Severide greeted him warmly as they walked in. "Lieutenant," he acknowledged Casey.

"Benny," Casey replied courteously.

Severide and Casey at each other grinned as they walked past him and took a seat at the back of a row of chairs. As the wedding vows were exchanged Casey's hand slowly crept over to Severide's lap and took his hand, Severide squeezed it gently.

"I love you," Casey whispered.

The reception party was held in a nearby hotel. Severide had been right when they'd received the wedding invitation, each wedding his aunt had become less and less wedding like. After the very brief ceremony at the registry office this was now just an excuse to party and drink, and from the way the bride walked across the dancefloor it looked like she'd already had her fill. Casey grinned at it all.

"You really haven't been to many weddings, have you?" Severide laughed at Casey's wide-eyed expression.

He shook his head.

"Want to make it memorable?" Severide smiled mischievously then grabbed his arm.

Severide swung the door open and ushered Casey into the dark room. He kissed him, mauled him even, his lips, his neck. He heard something topple onto the floor as he pushed him back onto the wall. Casey let his jacket fall onto the floor and loosened his tie as Severide quickly opened the buttons of his shirt, he wanted to rip it open but he had to restrain himself, they both had to restrain themselves from discarding all their clothes.

Casey felt Severide's rough hand graze past his fresh scar and slip down the front of his trousers. "Wait…" he breathed.

"You worry too much, no one is going to come in, you need to relax." Severide smiled, his lips right by Casey's ear.

Casey could feel his heavy breath by his ears as a hand made its way into his boxers. He let out a gasp as he felt teeth on his ear lobe, softly nibbling, and the hand wrapped around his cock gently bringing him to full hardness. His hips pushed forwards off the wall into the hand that was driving so much pleasure through his body, but the hand disappeared teasingly and he was left to gasp at the lost sensation.  
  
"Sev..."

He was breathing heavily, his trousers fell from his hips, his boxers soon followed. Severide's mouth alone, running down from his earlobe, down his neck, and further down to his hip was nearly enough to take him past the brink.

Severide looked up from his crouched position on the floor. Casey was moaning his name, moaning for his touch, his chiselled chest was breathing heavily, there was a sheen of sweat glistening by the light of the moon cascading from the window. His fingers brushed over the head of his weeping cock, he could feel his own hard member under his trousers. He worked his way back up to Casey's neck, taking the time to suck gently on the two perk nipples that stood out so wantonly on his fine chest.

Casey was lost in a world of bliss. Severide's hand was back on his aching cock, wet with precome as the hand slid up and down, his neck was being viciously attacked with lips, tongue, teeth, he could barely breathe. Severide's other hand had worked its way up from his hip to his hair, to his mouth, he arched backwards and his cries were muffled by Severide's hand as he came.

In a few short tugs Severide came and joined him in his post coital bliss. They sank down to the floor together, breathing heavily, they turned their heads to face each and gently leaned in to one another, forehead resting on forehead.

"I love you," Severide whispered.

  


 


	25. Sneezing

"Ahhhchooo…"

"What was that?" Severide asked from his position lying back on Casey's bed.

Casey rolled his eyes. "What do you think it was?" he questioned, wiping his sleeve under his nose and turning back to his desk.

"Should you really be here?"

"It's just a cold."

"You're splattering your germs all over your paperwork."

Casey turned back to face him. He pouted. "I'm covering my mouth."

"And what happens if you get a call?"

"I have the sniffles, I'm not crippled."

"You're gonna get sicker."

"I am not… ahhhchooo…"

"Uh huh…" It was Severide's turn to roll his eyes.

"I saw that."

"You don't get sick very often but when you are then you're really sick. This is just the beginning."

"I'm fine," he smiled. "What are you doing in here anyway?"

"Twenty-four hours not being able to kiss you is torture, not being in private, you teasing me with that perfect ass…"

"Well, being in here won't change that. You know very well that anyone could just walk on in…"

"Yeah… you really need to make sure all your guys knock… or you know, remember to the lock the door… I don't think Mills is ever gonna look at me the same way again…"

"And what way was that?"

Severide just shrugged.

"He's still going for squad. You're reputation hasn't been...  ahhhchooo... destroyed, don't worry," he teased.

"Your teaching is a credit for that."

Casey made a mock look of shock. "Is that a compliment from the big shot squad man?"

"Hey, I do…"

"Ahhhchooo… ow…"

"Ow?"

"I'm all right…" he sniffled.

"Ow. I'm all right," Severide repeated. "Totally gonna believe that."

Five hours later Boden sent Casey home. When Severide arrived back to their apartment when the shift was over he discovered him fast asleep in bed. Only a small tuft of blond hair stuck out from under all the blankets he had cocooned himself in.

He set down the supplies he'd picked up from the store on his way back. He knew exactly what Casey needed to make him feel better when he was sick. It was a few hours before he heard anything from Casey.

Severide was sitting on the couch flipping through a newspaper when he heard Casey sneeze, cough and then sniffle. He got up, picked up a packet from the side and entered the bedroom.

"You still fine?" he grinned as he sat down beside Casey on the bed.

"Maybe I'm a little sick… ahhhchooo… ahhhchooo…"

"Got you some cold stuff, and here…" he passed Casey the packet.

"Twizzlers," Casey smiled.

"Yeah. You want some chicken soup or something first?"

Casey nodded.

"All right, I'll go heat some up. Try and stay awake, hate waking you up."

Casey nodded again, sniffling.

Less than five minutes later Severide returned and Casey was fast asleep, lips parted. Severide put the soup down and pulled the covers back over Casey. He brushed away a strand of blond hair and kissed his forehead softly.


	26. Scared

"Kelly, what the hell are you doing here?" Shay sat down next to him at the bar.

"What does it look like I'm doing?" he shot her a look before requesting another drink from the barman.

"I just thought you'd have somewhere better to be, something better to do…"

"This is what I'm doing. Am I not allowed?"

Shay ignored him. "I bet Casey's pretty scared right now."

"Yeah, well, I'm pretty scared too."

"Then why are you here? He's alone right now."

"Well, maybe I want to be alone."

"I understand why you're scared, probably more than you do."

"Matt doesn't need me."

"You're wrong. If I were you I'd storm into his hospital room right now and…"

"And what?" Severide snapped. "Hold his hand whilst he throws his guts out because of the poison they're pumping into him?!"

"Yes," she responded simply.

"He wouldn't want me there."

"Have you tried being there?"

Severide shook his head.

"Don't distance yourself from him because you're scared of what might happen."

He was silent for a while before turning to her. "I was reading up on it, the blast percentage he told me… his odds aren't great…"

"Even more reason to not leave him alone right now. This is about him, and he may never admit it or even let it on but I know he must be scared."

He let out a long breath. "I've drank too much… will you give me a ride?"


	27. Dawson

"That's the last of the boxes, Case," Severide told him when he walked back through the open door.

Casey didn't acknowledge him. He was looking around the empty apartment.

"Matt?"

He turned to Severide and smiled. "Thanks."

"You want a minute?"

"No. Let's just get out of here."

"You signed the divorce papers?" Severide asked, tone hushed. Casey was hardly talking about what had happened.

He nodded a little.

Severide put a hand on his shoulder, hoping the touch wouldn't be too much. It wasn't. Casey almost leaned into it. Almost.

"Do you think…" Casey stopped himself.

But Severide wasn't going to let him stay silent. "Do I think what? No judging here."

He let out a breath. "Do you think she ever loved me? I keep…" he sighed and stopped himself again.

"Talk to me."

He shook his head. "You were her friend."

"I was your friend first, and maybe, maybe I have been a bit absent recently, maybe I should have taken more notice of you."

"I keep looking back, you know, trying to think of periods where we were really happy together… I loved her so much but… but I don't think she ever really loved me, not for me."

Severide was silent, letting Casey process his thoughts.

"She was only happy when she had what she wanted but I… I didn't matter, maybe I'm wrong but now I'm looking back at everything that happened between us… if I wasn't going to be able to help her, or if she didn't think I'd be able to, then she'd just shut me down and if I…" he stopped.

"If you?"

"If I had a different opinion, different way of going about something then… well, it didn't matter. I was nothing to her. I was just a label to her. She never loved me. Not really. I don't think that was love. I loved her but she didn't love me. And now look at me, wrong end of thirty, failed marriage…"

It was Severide's time to stop him now. "Captain in the CFD. That's not a failure… and we should never have let that get between, that's partly on me."

Casey just looked away, he didn't want to talk about that. He glanced around the empty apartment one more time. "Well, here's to a new start I guess."


	28. Crack

"Hey you." Severide was smiling down at Casey as his eyes flickered open.

"Kel…" Casey responded groggily.

"You're a lucky son of a bitch," he grinned, shaking his head. "Reckon you've used up more than your nine lives…"

Casey smiled drowsily up at him.

"Doc's told you what happened?" Severide asked.

"Yeah… remember…"

"Good. How are you feeling?"

"Chest hurts."

"Well, they did crack it open…"

"Hmm… yeah… let's make sure that doesn't happen again…"

"I'll get the nurse, you need some…"

"Not yet…"

"Matt…"

"They knock me out…"

Severide nodded, understanding. "I'm sorry about this morning, we shouldn't have argued, not over something so pointless. If you'd had died…"

"I know you didn't mean it…"

"Is there anything I can do?"

"Stay with me?" he asked, almost cautiously.

"I'll stay until they're forced to call security and drag me out."

Casey smiled and let his eyes slip close when he felt Severide's hand in his own.


	29. Burnt

"Casey!" Severide yelled, running up to the building, smoke was pouring out, flames were grasping at the oxygen through the broken windows.

Tony and Severide took the victim from over Casey's back, taking the large man over to one of the waiting ambulances.

Casey pulled off his SCBA mask, letting it fall to his side, he took in some deep breaths, gathering himself.

Boden looked over to him, Casey gave him a quick nod. "Get the hoses on it!" Boden called out to the engine crew.

Severide made his way back over to Casey. "That was a close one… you look like you're gonna throw up?" he asked, concerned.

"My jacket… my arm…"

Severide quickly looked at Casey's arm. Suddenly noticing the state of his left turnout jacket sleeve. "Oh crap… Matt…"

"Yeah… crap is about right."

"C'mon…" Severide put his arm around him, about to manhandle him over to the last ambulance that was waiting by the scene.

"I can walk, it's just my arm…"

In the back of the ambulance the sleeve on Casey's turnout jacket was carefully cut away. Severide was standing by the door, watching, he could see Casey gritting his teeth, he could see the pain in his eyes, his skin had paled beneath the sheen of sweat.

"We need to take you to the hospital, Lieutenant," the paramedic told Casey, Severide could overhear.

"Can't you just wrap it up?"

"It's a second-degree burn, Casey, you won't have to be admitted but we can't treat this out here."

Casey didn't look impressed at the idea.

"Matt, I'll meet you there," Severide spoke up, "I'll just let the chief know what's happening, all right?"

Casey just glanced over to him, saying nothing before the ambulance doors were closed.

Severide arrived at the hospital with everyone else and discovered Casey sitting on the side of a bed alone in one of the bays. There was a thick bright white bandage wrapped around he entire length of his lower arm, from wrist up to elbow.

"Hey," he greeted Casey, walking into the bay, "That wasn't too bad, was it?"

"No," Casey responded quietly, "Just need to go now…"

"Are you all done?"

"No," he sighed unhappily, "Nurse is just getting me some supplies so I can change the dressing and stuff."

"Ok, that's good, you'll be out of here soon then."

"I need to go, I need to get out of here…" Casey was about to stand and storm out, he was quickly losing control of his own thoughts.

Severide stood in front of him, leaning down so he was at eye level, he knew Casey well enough not to touch him right now. "Matt, look at me."

"I need to go…"

"I know, and we'll leave together very soon," Severide nodded reassuringly.

"I can…"

"What, Matt? What is it?" Severide asked when he fell silent.

In a whispered tone Casey responded, "I can hear him…"

"He's dead. He's not here," Severide reminded him. "Now, what do you want to do tomorrow? Are you working?"

"Erm… no, no I'm not, I thought… thought maybe we could watched the 'hawks game from last night? My place? I have beer and chips…"

"Hockey, beer and chips sounds good."

Casey was finally able to leave the hospital, he rode back to the firehouse in the battalion car, in silence except for a few comments from Boden. Once back at 51 Casey made his way to the locker room where he found Severide sitting alone.

"You already look better," Severide told him, smiling, "You heading home now?"

"Yeah," he answered, "Boden thinks that's best."

"I do too, that's a nasty burn," Severide said.

"Guess so…"

"You did well in the ER," Severide told him, he knew how hard it was for Casey to be in the setting as a patient with the amount of time he'd spent there as a child.

"Just a minor injury, I'm fine," Casey replied, although he knew what Severide had been talking about.

"You're stronger than you think. Your parents burnt you more than any flame could."


	30. Snagged

"Where's Casey?" Boden asked Herrmann, catching Severide's attention as he was taking off his SCBA gear.

"Right behind me, Chief, he's got the last guy," Herrmann responded before he took the victim, who was almost clinging to his side, over to one of the awaiting ambulances.

Severide stared over at the front door, waiting for Casey to emerge through the smoke. Casey was excellent at his job but he couldn't help but worry about him when he was out of sight. A sigh of relief escaped Severide's lips when Casey walked out of the warehouse, a man who was built like a brick house was slung over his back. Severide and Boden rushed over to him and took the man from his aching body, he took off his mask and followed them over to the other ambulance.

The man's bloody nose was revealed as Severide and Boden placed him onto the gurney. They both looked to Casey who gave a small smile as he took off his gloves. "He must have slipped…"

Neither believed his response and Casey wasn't surprised. There was no chance to comment on it any further. "Is that blood?" Severide had to restrain himself from exclaiming when he noticed the dark substance that was starting to saturate Casey's upper arm.

Casey glanced down at his left arm. "Yeah, I snagged it on something."

"What the hell happened in there?" Severide questioned.

"Ambo, now, Lieutenant," Boden spoke firmly to Casey, nodding over to the ambulance where the victim Herrmann had pulled out was being checked over.

Before Casey could even protest Severide was manhandling him over to the paramedics. He didn't miss the way Casey almost lost his footing. He sat him down at the back of the ambulance and helped him to take off some of his gear.

"I am all right," Casey insisted. "Really, don't need all this fuss…" he began when the paramedic started to examine his arm.

"Matt," Severide started, leaning in and whispering, "There is blood dripping down your hand, forgive me for being worried about the man I love."

That shut Casey up. He just looked at Severide as the paramedic asked him if he could take off his jacket or if they'd rather the sleeve was cut. "Lieutenant?" the paramedic questioned when he didn't reply.

"Oh, erm… yeah, I'm fine, I can slip it off," he responded. It wasn't the first time Severide had told him that he loved him but even after the last six months of dating he still found it hard to believe that here was a man who loved him for who he really was, who loved him unconditionally.

Casey allowed Severide to help him take his turnout jacket off, from an outsiders point of view it looked like nothing more than a friend helping a friend. But Severide's soft breath sounds so close to his face made Casey smiled despite the pain that had started radiating from his arm before he'd carried the victim out of the warehouse.

"God… Matt, what the hell happened?" Severide asked him again when his jacket was finally removed, revealing the spreading blood soaking Casey's grey long sleeves.

The paramedic was cutting away at the polo shirt when Boden walked over. "Uncooperative victim?" the Chief asked him.

"He awake?" Casey questioned.

Boden nodded.

"Good… I didn't hit him that hard, Chief, but he was panicking…"

"Did he do that to you?" Severide asked, anger flaring in his eyes, anger that hopefully Boden took for friendship rather than love.

"He was panicking, not his fault, I just got pushed out the way," Casey finished telling Boden.

Boden looked down at Casey's bloody arm now the sleeve had been cut away, there was a solemn expression on his face.

"I'm all right, Chief."

"Good," he gave a quick nod. "I'll pick you up from Med."   
  
The look Casey was given told him not to protest.

"Chief, can I ride along with him?" Severide asked.

"Overhaul." It was all Boden responded with before he walked away from his two lieutenants.

Severide looked more than dismayed at the thought of not being able to stay with Casey.

"It's just a cut," Casey told him, watching as Severide was staring intently at the long, deep and jagged wound as the paramedic cleaned it up so she could wrap it and transport Casey to the hospital where he would need quite a few stitches.

"It's gonna scar," Severide said simply.

"Won't be my first," he responded.

"All right, Lieutenant, we're good to go," the paramedic announced once his upper arm had been bandaged. The victim that Herrmann had helped out the building had been taken over to another ambulance that had arrived, and she was already on her way to the hospital with some very minor smoke inhalation.

"Wait," Severide said suddenly as Casey stood up, ready to get into the back of the rig.

"I'm fine," Casey told him again, giving him one of those perfect smiles that made his heart melt.

'I love you,' Severide mouthed before the doors were slammed shut.


	31. Gone

"You don't have to say anything, we can just sit here," the Chaplain spoke. He and Casey had been sitting in the briefing room at the firehouse. Everyone had been strongly urged to see him today. Casey had been sitting there in silence for ten minutes.

"What am I supposed to say? That it was my fault? It was my fault… would have been better if it was me…"

"Why?"

"Because I'm not leaving behind two kids. Heather. Andy's family is massive… massive, there were so many people at his graduation, he was important to so many people. To me… to Kelly. He won't talk to me now."

"I heard what happened at the scene…"

"Imagine everyone's heard now. If Boden and the guys hadn't grabbed him I know he wouldn't have stopped." He shrugged. "I don't care though, I wish he'd continued…"

"Are you sleeping?"

Casey gave him a look as if to say the chance of him sleeping was impossible. "Andy was right there. He was laughing. And then he was gone. Just like that. I… I can't get it out of my head."


	32. I'm Building a Boat

Severide jumped out his car, looking around. There were pine trees almost hiding the cabin, the dirt track road had been tricky to negotiate in his Mustang. The place had been hard to find, but that's exactly what Casey had wanted. Severide strolled around the veranda, his knocking on the door had gone unanswered. "Casey, c'mon man… it's me!" he called out as he stepped down, he was facing the lake now.

As he walked close to the lakes edge, through the trees he spotted Casey. His back was too him, he was shirtless, only wearing some faded jeans and boots. He wasn't wearing his watch and Casey always used to wear his watch. He was sanding down the side of a boat. Severide knew it had been made from scratch, something he never realised Casey wanted to do, or knew how to do, but he knew Casey well, or at least he thought he had before all this had happened. He knew Casey liked to do everything by himself. He certainly was doing that out here. There weren't even any electricity lines. Severide had spotted a generator but he wasn't even sure it was in working condition.

Casey heard footsteps on the grass. He sighed. A visit had been bound to happen eventually. He knew he wouldn't have been impossible to find, not with Severide's snooping abilities. So he wasn't surprised to find him walking towards him as he turned around.

"When are you coming back to work?" Severide questioned, stopping a few feet away from him.

"I'm not."

"I think you're being an idiot," Severide told him, looking him up and down. He'd not shaved and was now sporting a beard, his hair was longer too, windswept and dishevelled. His jawline was also sharper. And there was a lengthy scar on his left forearm, the last time Severide had seen him it had still been covered in a bandage.

"So you've said... more than a dozen times in the last four months," Casey told him, desperately wanting the quiet that had surrounded him before Severide had turned up.

"Not four months, it's been more than three since you spoke to anyone, you don't responded to anyone's messages and now they're just not getting delivered."

"Threw my phone away," Casey responded.

"Of course you did… you know, this whole rugged building a boat and finding myself look doesn't suit you... nor the substituting food with alcohol look…"

"This is me now," Casey told him, looking back at the boat he'd been working on.

"It isn't. You belong in Chicago, at 51," he responded firmly.

"I will always be the guy whose entire crew died."

Severide shook his head. "It wasn't your fault."

"It sure as hell feels like it was."

"Matt, come back with me," Severide urged.

"I'm building a boat."

"I can see that," Severide said.

"I'm gonna take it out to sea, once I've tested it out here," Casey informed him.

"You're coming back though, right?"

"I don't know," he said, shaking his head. "Even this place… I don't want to be here…"

"Then come home," Severide said abruptly.

"Home is worse. It's not even home anymore. Everything is different. This life… this… just everything has changed…"

"And you're what? Running away?" he questioned harshly. "If you are then, yeah, everything's changed, because the Matt Casey I know doesn't run away from anything."

"I'm not that person anymore."

"You're being selfish," Severide stated. "This isn't just about you."

"I'm not saying it is!"

"What about me, Matt? Did you think about me? Or everyone else who made it out of that building?"

"I'm not coming back, Kelly."

"Fine. Then I'll just have stay here until you change your mind."


	33. I Need Help

Severide and his crew turned up to the scene thirty-three seconds before flames burst out of the ground floor of the boarded-up warehouse building. He could hear Boden calling for Truck 81 on the radio as he jumped out of the rig. And he could hear the static that was received in response as he put his SCBA gear on. He could see the look in Shay's eye now, and he realised they were all in the building.

"I need additional crews here ASAP…" he could hear Boden ordering over the radio.

"Chief?" Severide questioned, striding up to him with his crew, all ready to get inside.

"No one enters. We don't know if it's stable," Boden responded.

"They're all in there?" he asked, overwhelming concern in his tone.

"Yes."

Severide grabbed his radio. "81, can you hear me? Casey?"

"81? Do you copy?" Boden called into his own radio.

"C'mon, Case… c'mon… c'mon…" Severide was muttering under his breath.

It felt like an age before the radio crackled into action. It was just static a first, then heavy breathing. "Chief… it's Casey. I need help in here… can't get them out…"

"Casey, is the building stable? What happened?"

 _"Probably not… I don't know…"_ Casey responded, coughing through the radio.

"Chief, let us in there," Severide urged.

"All right, but if it's unstable you have to get out," Boden instructed.

Inside the building it was a mess, it looked like a bomb had gone off. The first floor had collapsed onto the third floor with the force of the explosion from below. Casey and Herrmann had been on the first floor. Mills, Otis and Mouch had been below on the ground. Severide could hardly see through the settling dust. The fire was still going but it wasn't overpowering.

Severide found Casey on the edge of a mound of rubble. The rubble that had previously been the first floor ceiling. Casey and Herrmann had fallen through with it all but Severide couldn't see Herrmann.

"Casey?" Severide called out.

"Help me!"

Severide and his crew quickly reached Casey's side.

"Oh God…" Severide muttered. Herrmann's hand was sticking out from beneath the concrete. Casey was frantically removing the debris from around him, coughing as he did.

"You need to find the others!" he called out to them, realising they were by his side now.

"You're bleeding," Severide commented.

"I'm fine," Casey insisted.

The gash on his head and the blood on his turnout gear told Severide otherwise, but he knew he wouldn't be able to stop Casey. "All right," he said with a nod. "Clarke, Tony, Capp, spread out and see if you find the others, slowly and carefully, we don't want to shift anything and cause more damage."

Severide remained with Casey, removing the rubble from around Herrmann but it wasn't long until Casey started to falter. Severide helped him out of the building as other crews began to make their way into the building. Casey was barely able to put one foot in front of the other, Severide was taking a lot of his weight and making all the effort to keep Casey's arm over his shoulder.

Shay and Rafferty were waiting as close to the building as they safely could. By the time Severide was outside he had to scoop Casey up and lay him down onto the gurney. Shay and Rafferty got to work as Severide helped to pull off Casey's gear. An oxygen mask was slipped over his soot and grime covered face. Monitors were attached and a cannula was inserted into the back of his hand.

"Why didn't you get him out sooner?" Shay questioned Severide, annoyed because Casey had clearly taken in a lot of smoke, there was soot around his nose and mouth.

Severide shook his head. "He wouldn't leave…"

Casey's eyes opened. "No…"

"Woah, Matt, just stay still for me," Shay instructed as he began to move, trying to sit up.

Casey wasn't listening, he was trying to get up. "Need…"

"Hold still for me," Shay said again. Using forced to keep Casey from sitting up now.

Suddenly Casey moved, almost violently, trying to get away from the hands that were holding him down. He didn't know why, everything was a blur, but he needed to get back inside, the urge was overwhelming.

Severide stepped in when Casey's flailing arm knocked Shay out of the way. "Hey! Casey, stop!" he exclaimed, using all his force to keep Casey down on the gurney.

Casey let out an agonising noise. The pressure on his chest made the pain he felt increase tenfold. Severide loosened his hold, but Casey was still trying to move.

Rafferty had quickly inserted a syringe into Casey's arm and he relaxed.

"What was that?" Severide questioned.

"Just something to help him relax, can't transport him like that," Rafferty answered.

"He's gonna be all right?"

"His ribs are probably broken and he's lost some blood, probably has a concussion, and there's smoke inhalation too…" Rafferty responded as they loaded him into the back of the ambulance.

"He should be fine," Shay added.

"Will you stay with him?" Severide asked her.

"If we can, we will," she told him.

Severide shut the door and watched the ambulance drive away before heading back into the building to help with the rescue.


	34. Can't it Wait?

When Casey woke up he found himself in an unfamiliar room. He was lying almost flat on a bed. He could see Severide sitting in the left corner of the room, and as he looked around he spotted Boden in the other corner. He couldn't think what had happened or where he was. There was a constant beeping noise in the room and his face felt irritated. Clumsily he brought his hand up, trying to remove the obstruction but the entire process was exhausting and his arm fell limply back down to the bed. His eyes closed and the resounding noise lessened as he fell back to sleep.

The next time he opened his eyes it felt like some time had passed, but not much time had gone by at all. The obstruction on his face was different this time, not quite so irritating. He found his voice and spoke to one of the figures sitting in the room. "Kel…"

Severide sat upright as soon as he heard his name, it was only a whisper but he'd only been dozing, waiting for Casey to wake. "Matt. Hey, how are you feeling?"

"I dunno… where are we?" he coughed out.

"We're in the ER," Severide responded.

"The ER? Oh God…"

"Hey, hey, it's ok, you're al right, everything's all right," Severide soothed immediately.

The panicked thoughts and memories that he wasn't quite sure were true or just nightmares disappeared from Casey's mind with Severide's sudden reassurance.

"That's it, you just need to rest. You're being admitted, they'll be taking you to a different room soon…"

Casey's vision faded to black.

They all remained in the ER for another hour. Severide and Boden, both still wearing turnout gear, followed Casey up when he was moved to a private hospital room. They had to stay in the waiting room for a short time as they transferred Casey though. "You didn't tell him?" Boden questioned as he watched Severide walk over to him with a coffee in his hand.

"Huh?"

"You said he woke whilst I was sleeping," Boden responded. It had been a long and hard day for the entire CFD.

"Yeah, and yeah, I couldn't tell him, he knows, he remembers but he's confused and… and hurting, so, I didn't say anything…"

"We have to tell him," Boden insisted firmly.

"Can't it wait?"

Severide knew it couldn't wait and when Casey next woke, when he was much more lucid than before, and whilst it was just the two of them in the room, just Casey and Severide, no Boden, no nurse or doctor, Severide was going talk to him. He would explain everything. 

"It's ok," Casey spoke before Severide could say anything. His voice was raspy and hoarse. "I think I know."

"You remember what happened?"

"I remember yelling when I saw the propane tanks, and falling... I remember falling, then I couldn't really hear anything, or see anything… then you were there, and I couldn't get Herrmann out… are they…" He swallowed. "How long have I been here?"

"Almost twenty-four hours now," Severide told him.

"They're dead? All of them?"

Severide nodded.

"Cindy and…"

"Everyone's been told," Severide interrupted, aware of how much effort it was taking for him to speak.

"I'm sorry, tell them that I'm…"

"There's no need. They're all here," Severide explained.

"What?"

"They're all here and have been waiting to make sure that you're ok," Severide reiterated, offer a small smile, although he knew it wouldn't be much comfort.

"That I'm ok? What? What's even wrong me?" he questioned, looking around at the monitoring equipment.

"You got knocked about pretty badly," Severide answered simply.

"I'm not dead," he stated, there was a hint of anger in his tone, annoyance at the unfairness of it all.

"No. And I am so glad you're not," Severide responded softly. "Everyone is here for you."

"I feel fine," he insisted, although he couldn't help but cough out every few words.

"You're getting some nice drugs. You have a concussion, couple of lacerations that needed stitches, some broken ribs, broken fingers, strained wrist, smoke inhalation…"

"Doesn't sound so bad. The bodies were recovered?" he asked, moving the topic back away from himself.

"They're dead, Matt, I'm sorry. I don't think we would have been able to save them," Severide responded.

"Kelly's right," Boden spoke as he entered the hospital room, his arrival had almost gone unnoticed. "They've completed the overhaul, Matt, none of this was your fault," he said, knowing what Casey needed to hear now, and that was the truth.

Casey shook his head. "We should never have been in that building."

"No. The tanks were being stored there illegally, looks like the fire was started by a couple of people who were sheltering in the building, they must have left when it started to spread," Boden told him.

"That's the initial report?" he questioned, his voice still raspy.

"Yeah, and there's nothing to suggest anything else happened," Boden continued.

"Need me to write my report?" he asked, his voice cracking with the strain of talking now.

"That can wait," Boden responded.

"I can do it…"

"As far as I know, you're getting a lot of painkillers right now," Boden told him.

Casey just shook his head. "Can you get the doctor? I want to get out of here, I need to get out of here…" He pushed the covers back, swinging his legs over the side of the bed, he even didn't stop as a wave of dizziness swept over him.

"Hey, Matt, stop, all right, stop. You're not going anywhere. You need the oxygen." Severide was holding his upper arm now, trying to stop him from moving anywhere.

"I feel fine…" he said insistently, breathing heavily, struggling to catch his breath.

"Yeah, that beeping noise says otherwise," Severide warned him as the monitor noted the change in his heart rate.

"I… I… I can't…"

"Look at me," Severide instructed. "Matthew, look at me."

Boden watched from the end of the bed as Casey focused on Severide, and his breathing eventually evened out. Exhausted now, Severide helped him lay back properly on the bed.

Severide replaced the bed covers and smiled down at him. "You need to rest, and your body needs to heal." He sat back down on the chair and spoke again. "I'll be here when you wake up." He was sure Casey wouldn't sleep peacefully, and he knew Casey was worried about what he would see when he closed his eyes, but his presence was the only reassurance he could offer.

"I want to be on my own."

"Oh, right, yeah, sure, bud… we'll let you get some rest," Severide said hesitantly. He really didn't want to leave Casey alone right now, but he couldn't stay if he wasn't wanted.


	35. ER

Severide was sitting by Casey in the emergency room.

Casey was holding a wad of gauze to his forehead.

"When's that doctor coming back?" Severide's frustration was getting the better of him.

"I'm fine," Casey reminded him.

"Your shirt is soaked in blood," he retorted.

"Head wounds bleed."

"Well, you're not supposed to bleed," Severide told him.

Casey chuckled, wincing a little as he did.

"Where else are you hurt?"

"Severide…"

"You shouldn't have done it," Severide said.

"You'd have done the same. I just happened to be closest."

Severide sighed. "Where's that doctor?" He stood up and went in search of the man who was supposed to treating his boyfriend.


End file.
